It feels odd that I should talk about the things that I hate about blogging before I speak on the things that I love. I’ve been blogging on and off since 2012, and in these past 7 years, I’ve done a lot of research and been an avid follower/ learner of everything BTS. I know how hard it is to remain authentic to yourself (more on that in a later post), when you see what others are doing, and as a result, they’re doubling/ tripling their following.
Knowing all that I know, as a consumer I get irritated how this industry has turned out. It used to be so authentic, so transparent. So real. Like unedited reality TV.
I understand trying to make a living, but to what sacrifice?
Here are the top ten things that irritate me to no end about bloggers/ influencers. And yes, there is a difference.
So you think you’re a Kardashian. The layers upon layers of hair extensions, the overly plumped lips, and the orange make- up and spray tan. I get it, we’re living in a Kardashian obsessed time. It just baffles me that this is what girls are aspiring to be. That this “look” is what gets likes, follows, and is “goals”. It sounds like I’m angry about it, and to an extent, I am. I have a young daughter and can only hope that she aspires to be more.
I must note, though, that I think the Kardashians are geniuses at what they do. What do they do? They’re influencers. How did they get to be influencers? Kim latched on to Paris because she’s a fame whore, and then she threw her dignity and self-respect out the window to make a sex tape that went viral. Mind you, it only went viral because of her photos with Paris. Oh, and the fact that it was Brandy’s brother didn’t hurt. I only call her a marketing and publicity genius because she managed to capitalize on it. Young girls and women everywhere, please believe me when I say that this is not a cute look in real life. As Cam Newton said, “Don’t be me, be better than me”.
Oh, and for the love of God, quit with the duck lips and peace signs, you’re a mother in your mid 30’s and you look ridiculous.
Loop Giveaways. This is probably the easiest way to gain an (inauthentic) following. “I’ve teamed up with my favorite 25 bloggers to give away this LV Neverfull. All you have to do is follow all of us and tag a friend that would love to win!”. Y’all understand what that is, right?
They’ve each put in about $50.00. They’ll gain around 1k-5k followers (depending on the caliber of “influencer” they already are), and only one of you will win. Also, they’ll lose about 50-75% of the new followers that they gained from the giveaway. I wouldn’t call it “buying followers”, as many do, but it’s definitely taking the easy road and your engagement will most likely never match your follower numbers. Just give away a gift card or item that you can afford to purchase on your own. It’s more appreciative and genuine, as opposed to being so damn thirsty. Also, I hate that word, but when in Rome…
Your Baby Is Not An Accessory. This kills me. I was the size of a house when I was pregnant, but I wasn’t cradling my 13 week bump. Wanna know why? Because you don’t have a bump to cradle at 13 weeks!!!
Then they have the baby, and it’s literally their new purse. Out of content ideas? Post the baby. Not sure what to do with your right hand? Hold the baby. And don’t get me started on not telling the due date or name until your birth announcement. Like everyone is on the edge of their seat to find out whether you named your kid after an island or a handbag. And just so we’re clear, your great grandmothers name was not Ibiza Marmont. It just wasn’t.
Sponsored Posts. “My most favorite skincare line! I’m totes obsessed!”. Funny, so are 47 other people the same day you are. I’m no influencing genius (hello to all my sweet 560-ish followers!!!), but wouldn’t you want to know how many are also being paid to post and when they’re posting? Or are you solely driven by monetary gain and notoriety?
As someone who has followed the blogging industry for sometime, you automatically seem inauthentic and untrustworthy. You don’t get to blog about “OMG Tom Forddddd” and then talk about how much you love your Wal Mart cardigan. No girl, you’re a lying liar who lies.
Words are hard. Let’s chat about words. Totes, cray (or cray-cray), sunnies, swimmy, etc. These are not words. I mean, my 10 year old daughter may use them as words, but you’re grown. Serious question, how hard is it to add an extra syllable or two to your words? If I looked at another woman my age and said, “OMG how cuuuuttteee do my new sunnies look with my new swimmy?!?! Isn’t it totes adorbs!!!”, and she didn’t slap the hell out of me, I’d have to seriously consider the people that I’m surrounding myself with.
The Instagram Blogger. Dear Instagram blogger, you are not, in fact, a blogger. You’re an Instagrammer. To be a blogger, you must have an actual URL that you pay for and update regularly. And so we’re clear, if you have a domain that you own, but post once a month because of a contractual agreement (ie sponsored post), you are still not a blogger. Having your picture taken in front of your garage door by your accessory child or Instagram Husband does not a blogger make. I mean, how much work goes into coming up with a (cute? funny?) short caption and linking a bunch of shit that you want people to buy so that you can pay for the lifestyle that you can’t otherwise afford? It’s honestly laughable, and a slap in the face to actual bloggers.
Instagram Stories. This is short and simple. It shouldn’t take 5-10 stories to tell us why you like a top or what you had for breakfast. I get it, I’ve stumbled on stories, too. Here’s what I do: I discard it and record again. Sometimes 5+ times! Crazy, right?! And I know, I know, you had your angles perfected in that clip and the natural light was hitting your contoured cheekbones just right. It’s gonna be OK though, you’ll get it right again, but this time with words and less “hehe” and “Ummm’s”. You can do it, even when no one else does, I have faith in you!
Athleisure posts. Everyday. I am a lover of leggings, I wear them almost 7 days a week. But please tell me how you manage to post leggings and your “OMG less than $30!!!” top every single day and call it fashion? I’m sure you’re selling the mess out of those things, but again, not a fashion blogger.
I Love Jesus, But I Drink A Little. This one’s tricky. I, too, love Jesus, but I drink a little. Jesus drank wine, yada yada yada. But, if you’re gonna have a passage from the Bible in your bio, talk about how your Lord and Savior is your number one, but “You all know how I looovvvve my wiiiinnneeee” and post half naked while trying to catch flies with your mouth, just take the religious stuff out of your bio. It’s confusing!
“It’s linked on my blog”. I know that’s what you’ve been taught to do. I also know that you’re trying to turn a profit, you go girl. But if someone asks you where something is from, just tell them! You can sacrifice one sale to be genuine. A lot of these girls look up to you, and they are more than likely clueless as to how affiliate marketing works. Don’t be an asshole.
I’ve thought long and hard about writing this post. Not because I was scared, but because it’s hard to narrow down the irritating aspects of bloggers/ influencers to just ten. There are some really great, authentic, transparent influencers out there, and I know if I were them, I’d not want to be roped in with these “popular page” ones, because what took years to build is now so easily purchased.
Photography by Ryan Sherrod