The Perfect Cardigan + The Comparison Game

Is Happy Monday even a thing? I’ve been trying to look at Monday’s the way that people look at New Year’s: A fresh start, a clean slate. As soon as I’m doing better about thinking that way, I rarely make it to noon before Monday kicks me in the ass.

Friday evening I noticed I had a pain in the left side of my neck, almost like a crick, ya know? It became more irritating than painful, so I had a friend whose a massage therapist rub around on it for a bit thinking that would help. It was so painful when he was doing that! He said it was a stress nodule, and a really big one. I get them in my back a lot, and it takes him multiple sessions to work them out and set me at ease, so I really got down in the dumps about one in my neck. Needless to say, I have an appointment with my chiropractor today.

I never thought I’d say “my chiropractor” in my early thirties, but God Bless that man and his profession! After my first appointment this time last year, I was totally sold on chiropractic care! I blame 10 years of cheerleading, but in all honesty, I haven’t taken the best care of my body, so I’m sure it’s a culmination of the two.

Let’s chat a bit about The Comparison Game. Courtney Kerr said once in a tweet/snap (I’m not sure which), that if she created a scent, “It’d smell like self deprecation and hairspray”. I died laughing, because she’s funny as hell, but then I quickly came to the realization that “Holy shit, That. Is. Me.”. I totally reek of self deprecation and hairspray!!!

The truth is is that way before I even started blogging, this was already the case. Blogging just escalated the feelings. There’s always been nearly a million things an hour that go through my head, but since starting the blog again, they’ve multiplied.

I’m not thin enough.

I have a double chin.

I don’t have hair extensions, I don’t color in my brows, or have eyelash extensions.

I can’t spray tan weekly.

I’m too short.

My thighs touch.

I live in small town Alabama, that limits my photos and opportunities.

I’m too old.

My teeth are crooked, so I don’t smile really big.

My house isn’t big enough.

I can’t travel every month.

I’m a mom to a 10 year old.

I have arm pit fat.

My face is too round.

I have flat hair.

I don’t have a college degree.

My toes are all the same size except for my pinky, I shouldn’t post sandals.

My voice is too country.

I think those things are enough for you to catch my drift.

I realize that thinking those things are a shitty quality of life to live, because I really am truly blessed with so many things that I take for granted, and I’m trying to do better. It’s not always easy when you see photos on Instagram and Blog’s that display everything that you’ve convinced yourself you’re not. I honestly get nervous every time I post. I want to block everyone that I know personally, because I’ve convinced myself that they must laugh and mock me at their get togethers.

I’m learning to take a deep breath, and just hit “publish”. Because following me is optional, and if someone only does so to get a good laugh, well, I’m glad I could do that for you. I enjoy styling and I love connecting with my followers. I made a commitment to myself six years ago, and I failed in following through multiple times. I’ve always looked back and wanted to kick myself for doing that.

I find it sad if you can’t follow through and fulfill a commitment that you made to yourself, but break your back to do so for others. No one is going to take care of and look after you but you. I have to remind myself of that daily.

Do any of you have any negative hangups that you struggle with?

Photography by Ryan Sherrod