Photography by Ryan Sherrod
There are so many posts titled “How to Wear…” and “How to Style…”. I literally shout to my computer “Step One: PUT IT ON!!!!” every time I see that. Because that’s the how. Put it on.
I owned a boutique for almost a year. It was my dream!
Only it was a nightmare.
I hated going to work.
I watched the entire season of Gossip Girl while sitting behind the desk of my dream.
I’m not complaining about that, those were the best days of my life. So far.
I lost $75, 000.00. As a single mom, I lost $75, 000.00. It was by far the stupidest decision I ever made. Not opening my own business, but refusing to comply. I lost my ass, and at least my child’s first year college tuition, because I was trying to be authentic to myself. I was trying to build a brand that didn’t line up with the girl that was shopping in my store.
I decided to order printed leggings and Piko tops, because it’s what was selling out every where. I thought, for sure, there was no fucking way that people wanted to wear that over faux leather leggings and a leopard faux fur vest. Mind you, this was 2014.
Turns out, they did.
I didn’t get everything steamed to hit the floor before it sold out online and in store. Neither actually ever hit “the shelf” before it was gone. I was unpacking boxes slower than it sold.
In that very moment, as I looked across the counter at the only day my store was filled with shoppers, it should have been the best day of my life. It was the worst day of my life. It’s when I realized, “I can’t do this anymore”.
I locked the doors at closing that night, poured myself a glass of white, sat behind the counter, Indian Style, and cried like I never had before. Typing this, it feels it like it was yesterday. It was a deveststating realization. It wasn’t that I ever expected that people would attend the local PTA meeting in leather pants, but I did think that they’d prance through date night in them.
I had one job. One shot.
I decided, in that moment, that I had a decision to make. I could A) Be a business woman and stock what sells. Or I could B) walk away with my dignity and self-respect.
It came down to staying or leaving with my authenticity, my integrity to myself. What started with a dream, became my life, my mission, my brand, ended in one experimental afternoon and changed my life more than I could have ever imagined.
I closed the doors in April and basically spent the entire summer working 1-2 days per week and day drinking the rest of them. A lot of time was spent on the river banks and I had the best tan I’d had in years! Went through a break up that I thought for sure broke me, started blogging again and finally got my shit together around October.
My friends and I like to refer to it as “That time that Jaime took a vacation from life”. Seems fitting.
I met Bobby that December (more on that later), and the rest is history.
Why tell you all of that? Because it goes to show that when one door closes, or one dream doesn’t work out or wasn’t what you thought it’d be, another will open and flourish after. So keep your head up girlfriend, keep doing you and every little thing will happen in due time.
