A few years behind, but I finally took the Enneagram test! A friend then told me I should take the Color Personality test, so I did that as well. I’ll share those results at the end of this post, but I must admit, when I first read my results, I was livid. I took it as they thought I was a narcissistic asshole. Let’s dive in, shall we?
For those of you that haven’t taken the Enneagram Test, it means I’m a Type 3 with a 4 wing. A type 3 is “The Achiever” with a wing (a lean) towards a type 4, “The Individualist”. My second scoring was a 7w6 (“Enthusiast, wing “Loyalist”), with the third being the latter, swapped.
The top traits for an Enneagram type 3 are validation, admiration, and success. First of all, what fully functional human doesn’t desire these things? Secondly, this left me quite pissed off, as I mentioned above.
I read it three times (there’s a lot of 3’s in this post, huh?!), and each time I got more and more defensive, almost yelling at the words on the screen. After letting these results consume my entire day, I realized that yes, I’m all of these things. But I’m more than a number on a personality scale, too.
After polling you lovely followers on Instagram, I decided to look at it a little differently. With an open mind, if you will.
As mentioned, what fully functional human doesn’t seek validation? I think it comes down to what lengths you’re willing to go to to obtain this validation. If it becomes an unhealthy measure, then there’s a problem. It’s normal to go above and beyond for something you’re invested in, and needing to feel validated for your effort is human nature to most.
While sounding redundant, this is another human trait that I think we all possess. Everyone wants to be looked up to, admired. If you put in the work, admiration feels deserved. If you surround yourself with like-minded people, then they’ll not only appreciate your hard work, but it will motivate them to imitate it, resulting in success for everyone. Without a doubt, I think that perception is reality, and perception can be a massive motivator. To the easily motivated, that is.
Well, I’ve never had a one-on-one conversation with anyone that wishes to do nothing in life. And I’ll not lie, my favorite after work activity is to walk half a block to the trolly stop and just say hi. Listen, aside of a few, every one of our bench sleeping town folk had a dream at one point. Everything doesn’t always work out, but the need to continue on and grow, dream a little bigger, it’s not lost on anyone. Some may consider this a flaw, and I suppose I sometimes do as well, but in the big scheme of things, it’s an asset.
There were parts to the Enneagram test that were inarguably wrong. A few personality traits for a type three are extroverted, charismatic, and self-confident. I don’t find myself to be any of these things. Not often, at least.
I’ve always hated when people label themselves an extroverted introvert. Is that even a thing? Like, pick a lane chick!
I’m that chick, damnit.
I don’t find myself to be particularly extroverted, but I definitely was in my younger years. In the last few years, it feels forced to interact with anyone that isn’t in my direct circle. Maybe I’ve just developed an intolerance to bullshit and entitlement. Does that come with aging? I get bored easy, maybe that’s why I lean more toward being alone.
My most enjoyable moments are when B and AC are out of town. That’s a tough thing to admit. While I love them both more than anything, I need 24 hours here and there.
I stay so involved, so stressed, constantly, that I feel I am only able to breathe in an empty home without distraction. I feel the constant urge to scream, just one good time, into total emptiness, and then I think I’d be able to go back to regularly scheduled programming. The constant need for “give me 5 minutes” that I never say out loud, because I’m internally scared to death to admit that I need a minute. However, in this season of life, I definitely find more enjoyment in my solitary time.
This doesn’t even warrant a paragraph, I dare you to find a person that doesn’t admit that I’m awkward AF. Drunk men seem to think the opposite, drunk women as well. I think my RBF draws them in, that’s the only thing I can think of. Literally, drunk people love me. I can’t honestly think of another person that’s drawn to me. Thank God. I’m not a big people person, so I’d be living in my own personal hell if people flocked to me.
In the words of Courtney Kerr, “If I were a perfume, I’d reek of self deprecation and hairspray”. I’ve found no truer statement than this one. I feel a constant need to be on point, as they say, and that’s resulted in my laying in the bed for days on end, only getting up and existing. I’m adamant that people don’t assume I’m dead, so I exist enough to participate in the bare minimum. I suppose that’s a good goal. I’m the literal definition of perception is reality. And if it’s not, please don’t tell me otherwise.
The Color Code Personality Test
I’m a Red. Shocker? Nope. These results seemed to have fed directly off of my Enneagram results.
“Reds are motivated by Power. They seek productivity and need to look good to others. Simply stated, Reds want their own way. They like to be in the driver’s seat and willingly pay the price to be in a leadership role. Reds value whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it be in their careers, school endeavors, or personal life. What reds value, they get done. They are often workaholics. They will, however, resist doing anything that doesn’t interest them.”
I’ll admit, without a doubt, I’m a workaholic. I thrive on having a task at hand, even if it drives me to the point of pure anger and/or exhaustion. This is unhealthy, I realize that 100%, but it’s in my bones.
As far as being in control, yes, I cannot function if I’m not calling the shots. I’m quick to ask for suggestions or guidance if I’m charting unfamiliar territory, and I love to learn from those before me, but ultimately, once I’ve got it, I need to drive the car. To say the least, it can be a challenge to work alongside of me.
While I don’t regret taking either test, I don’t need a virtual Scantron to tell me who I am. I know exactly how jaded, bossy, and compulsive I can be. I have some sort of deep- seeded resentment for those that don’t go 110% above their capabilities. I have zero tolerance for those that skate by doing the bare minimum, those that fly by the seat of their pants, and those that procrastinate. Those individuals make me feel like I need a Xanax prescription and a bottle of vodka.
Photographs by Jaimie Sweeten