Good morning everyone! How was your weekend?
Jumping right in to the topic of this post, I spent my weekend trying to learn Photoshop and searching for an editing app to whip my photos into what I think they should look like.
I wasn’t going to post these photos because I truly hate them. To be honest, there are probably 10 looks I haven’t posted for the same reasons. My arms look fat, it looks like I have a double chin, and I’m practically clear. Here’s the thing, though: This is exactly what I look like in real life.
At first, I blamed my photographer. “Why wouldn’t he edit these things out?”, I’d scream. I mean, that’s what I’m paying him to do, right? But then I realized that that’s not what I’m paying him to do. At our initial consultation I made very clear to him that I didn’t want overly edited images. That while I would always give him creative reign on how he shoots, I didn’t want much more than lighting edits.
I wanted to create a space that felt genuine, to have my readers think of me as the girl a few doors down that they may like to drink a glass of wine with. My intention was never to be “another girl from the ‘gram”, so to speak. Yet here I was, spending my entire weekend ignoring my family so I could learn to use the Photoshop liquefy tool.
After tears started to swell up in my eyes because I couldn’t figure it out, I had to make a decision. I could either let it go or I could call Ryan and tell him to shed 30 pounds off of all of my photos.
I decided to step away from the computer, pour myself a glass of red and take a bath, where I had a long conversation with myself in my head. That’s normal, right?
I’d just written a post about how I hate how blogging has become so fake, and yet here I was, wanting to morph myself into the very thing that I loathe. On the other hand, what’s a little tweak here and there going to hurt anything? It wouldn’t hurt anything except everything. I’d lose all credibility that I thought I had and completely ruin the transparency of this space that I’ve grown to love so much.
Ultimately, as you can see, I chose to not alter my images. Not because I’m some martyr, but because why would I edit something for the Internet when I can edit it in real life? If I would live a healthier lifestyle I wouldn’t feel the need for a liquefy tool. If I started to take better care of myself, then I wouldn’t feel self-conscious of the images I’m putting out there.
To sum it up, it boils down to laziness. And not just in looks, but in all aspects of life. If you put in the work, you won’t need to try to justify taking the easy way out.
Do I take the easy way out at work? No.
With my responsibilities to the charities I’m involved in? No.
With my obligations to my loved ones? No.
Then why was I trying to take the easy way out for myself?
I deleted Photoshop yesterday morning, I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life (ha). I did keep Lightroom because I like playing around with presets.
Although, I can’t help but wonder (hello CB lol) that if I’d have figured out how to use Photoshop to my advantage, would I have posted the “prettier” pictures?
Photography by Ryan Sherrod
My sweater is from Caymen & Co. My slides are old Lucky Brand “Blythh”. Amazon has very few in a couple of different sizes.